Six Mobile Phones that remind us of Music Artists
1) The Velvet Underground
The iPhone
Apparently Brian Eno once said that, although only a few thousand people bought the first Velvet Underground record when it was released, almost every single one of them was inspired to start a band. The same rings true with the iPhone and almost every other phone manufacturer. Step forward LG (LG Prada) and Meizu (Meizu M8) in particular. How many other phones will an iPhone-esque operating system appear in? When will the phrase ‘iPhone Killer’ cease to haunt my dreams?
2) BlackBerry 8110
Nelly Furtado
What happened to Nelly Furtado? Once she was a sweet hippyish folk singer who penned such pop hits as ‘I’m Like a Bird’. Now, in her ‘Maneater’ guise, the Canadian singer has transformed herself into some sexually charged harlot. I’m not being cynical but I see this transformation as an attempt by the record bosses to make her more commercially viable. You can see it in her dead eyes as she grinds about a club in her R&B inspired videos. She doesn’t want to be there, she wants to be playing a guitar, barefoot, in a tepee. This brings us to the pink BlackBerry 8110. The BlackBerry is a dependable, sensible phone, beloved of business men and other solid types. Why have they made it pink?! Is it to suit the accountant who loves exotic derivatives and girlish hues? It just doesn’t fit and it is as untrue to BlackBerry’s image as Nelly Furtado’s new sexiness is to her old sweet self.
3) Pantech Concept Phones
Bjork
Just look at her, she’s as mad as a hatful of snakes. But you have to love Bjork, what with her crazy music, eccentric costumes and her penchant for beating up journalists. What phone could possibly match the personality of Iceland’s most famous (only?) export? Step forward Pantech, whose fresh, innovative attitude towards handsets has resulted in some groundbreaking designs. It’s Pantech’s collaboration with some Korean students that makes them eligible for the ‘most like Icelandic star Bjork’ award. Take a look at these beauties. I just wonder what they were on when they thought of them, and more importantly, where can I get some?
4) Virgin Lobster 700TV
Amy Winehouse
What on earth do the Virgin Lobster 700TV and Amy Winehouse have in common? Well, they’re both extremely good at what they do, and they both look like a sack o’ crap. The lobster is plastic, cheap looking and really retro, but is a very good concept. It has an unsightly lump on the side which is actually a TV application (not a tumour) that lets you stream TV through to the unwieldy handset, or any suitably equipped receiver.
Ms Winehouse has a beautiful voice and has produced brilliant music but unfortunately looks like something the cat has puked up; some half digested crow, a touch of pond scum and a lot of hair.. Like Amy Winehouse, the 700TV has some shortcomings, but these are more to do with unreliable reception and clunky design than hardcore drug abuse.
5) LG Chocolate
Fischerspooner
All style no substance is the phrase that best sums up both the LG Chocolate and Fischerspooner, the much derided Electroclash duo. Fischerspooner’s exuberant and over the stop stage shows were a weak attempt to hide the fact that their music was formulaic, heartless and unoriginal. In fact, in their first London performance, one plucky Brit was so incensed by them that his response was to start lobbing the only thing he had to hand at the stage. Not rotten tomatoes, not bottles of piss, but sandwiches. Likewise the LG is quite a diverting spectacle but it is an utter nightmare to use. With a crap interface and basic features, if Fischerspooner ever play London again I might be tempted to lob this poor handset at them instead of some ham and cheese granary baps.
6) Motorola V100
Gazza
If you melted a personal organiser, a mobile phone and a turd down in a pot, then poured the resulting mess into a Tupperware to harden, you’d end up with the Motorola V100. This thing is so bad that it doesn’t have a built in speaker and microphone, forcing you to use a hands free device when you want to make a call. Why is this telephonic-offal like Gazza? If Dante had created a Tenth Circle of Hell, it would be packed to the gunnels with the Motorola V100 and Gazza singing Fog on the Tyne. The Motorola V100 and Gazza’s musical career were two of the worst ideas anyone has ever had. Watch the video below and you will understand.
[...] Mobile Phone News From Omio wrote an interesting post today on Six Mobile Phones that remind us of Music ArtistsHere’s a quick excerptHow many other phones will an iPhone-esque operating system appear in?…The same rings true with the iPhone and almost every other phone manufacturer….When will the phrase ‘iPhone Killer’ cease to haunt my dreams?… [...]